April 17, 2013
( this is probably one of my most personal poems I have written. I wrote this in 2013 specifically during the summer. Basically I was heartbroken and this was what I was thinking that whole summer) (ps: over this guy lol)
My whole world came crashing down. My happiness will never get back to how it was before this day. I realized Love doesn’t conquer all. How can “We’re going to be together forever” go to “You know this is coming, we’re breaking up.” How can someone who cares so much about you go and break your heart? Someone who said “I love you” and meant it. How do you just decide to let me go? Being 16 and in love,(I always thought that only happened in movies) isn’t has great as you think. Once the one you love breaks your heart you’re not the same person anymore. Heartbreak changes people. I turned into someone else…I’m not quiet,or shy or innocent. I’m talkative, outgoing and reckless. I care too much and love too much to let you go. This pain will never leave, I’m addicted to the sadness of this heartbreak, I can’t seem to get you off my mind. I hide the pain with a simple smile, but if you look into my eyes you’ll see what I’ve been hiding for a while. She’s sorry for the things she didn’t do for the things she hid and for the lies she told, but I guess she never thought she’ll lose the love of her life .she never knew what she had until she lost it. This heartbreak controlled my life. You left me there without checking if I was alright. You left me there like a crumpled piece of paper…now it’s your lost. The girl you used to know her days are over, she’s not that girl anymore, she’s changed. In a wonderful kinda way. The way that will make other guys fall in love with her, The way that you’ll come back running after her. She hopes one day she’ll have you back, she hopes that you’ll say something or she’s giving up on you, she hopes that everything will go back how it was before April 17th…
Clearly she can’t forget her first love.
The Darkness Awaits
(I’m not the best writer out there but I like to write. this is a poem I wrote back during Christmas in 2013 when everything started to come back) ps: I don’t feel like this anymore 😊
Sometimes the darkness just creeps up on me. During the day, while dancing, or laying In bed. Everything seems to go back to you. Everything I read reminds me of you. Everything I see reminds me of you. It takes me back to that Summer…heartbroken, depressed and insanely fragile. Those dark days are at the back of my mind waiting to creep up on me again. Waiting for me to feel the sadness all over again, to feel the worst I have ever felt. To make me feel like I’ll never be able to be happy again. You know you left me there in the darkness…in the shadow of our love behind me, around me, it surrounds me every day; The love we used to have; Surrounds every move I make, every breathe I take. How could you leave all that behind? How could you think I would be alright? And how dare you leave me there in that darkness, haunting every little step I make. How dare you? Do you not know what I went through? Do you not know how many times I cried? How many times I tried to get to you? Did you not love me? Did you not know how much I loved you? No. You didn’t. Because you wouldn’t leave someone you love in this darkness forever. The darkness that’s always waiting to creep back into my life, to destroy me once again. To have me be once again heartbroken, depressed and insanely fragile…
I think it’s time to just let go. Shouldn’t get my hopes up for someone I used to love.
If you don’t want a relationship I don’t want you anymore.
I honestly can’t wait to feel love from a significant other one day!
Even tho I’m scared out of my mind to fall in love once again!
I got hurt pretty badly a year and a half ago, and I’m still scared to fall in love.
It’s not that I haven’t moved on cause trust me I have! It’s just no one is worth my time or won’t reach my expectations..but most importantly I’m just scared to fall in love again.